Surviving five heart attacks, four diabetic seizures, congestive heart failure, Alzheimer's, gastrointestinal cancer and breast cancer would sound like a stew of pain. Thankfully, I was able to witness my precious Gam seem to not have any pain (Thank you God for this).
Rewind, I initially moved back to Tennessee to help take care of my Mama when she was diagnosed with cancer. At the time, she was also taking care of my Gam (Mama's Mama) that also had two cancers along with Alzheimer's. Sounds like a lot, but when you LOVE your foundation so much that's small. I stayed, left my bills back in Arizona (yes, random yet peaceful move to the desert) and helped take care of both my Mama and Gam. I had no idea that when my Grandpa came to visit (lived with him in NY for five years; we took care of each other; my bff) that he would suddenly have a stroke and pass.
I was heartbroken and I didn't know if I would be able to make it. He is/was ( I still speak of him presently) one of a kind and the best man I've ever known. I had no choice but to keep going, my Mama still had cancer treatments and began to have immense pain, not to mention Gam had chemotherapy as well. As I write this I'm seeing that things happen as they are supposed to. I think if they were doing ok, I may not have been ok because I wouldn't have felt the need to.
Not too long after February 10, 2015, my Aunt Alberta (Grandpa's sister) passed away. I was sad as I love her and seeing my other Aunts and Uncle Bobby be sad made my heart ache. Not to mention my Mama was in the hospital that week and couldn't go. Little did I know the very week after, July 5, 2015 that she too would pass. Again, writing this is only the brink of my feelings. It doesn't seem real but I can say I am at peace knowing my love angels are. Soon after, my other cousin Diane passed away a month later, my cousin Clayborn passed away that December, the next year November 6, 2016 my Aunt Marie (Grandpa's sister) passed away and now we're here...
February 18, 2017, my sweet Anna Lee aka Gam went home. As you can see it's been quite some challenges, from grieving to attempting to continue life, take care of myself, but be selfless to make sure my loved ones are cared for. I have no complaints as I have been able to do the things that I want but to a limit. I am grateful for those limits though. Going back to raising my Gam. The effects of Alzheimer's are tremendous and if the caretaker themselves doesn't take care of themselves they too will suffer. Somehow I made it to this point where I could write about it. But this is only the beginning.
Thank you my dearest Anna Lee, Percy Johnson, Terri Odel.
Because of YOU I can do this.